These are her good intentions gifted to me. I am forced to unwrap her words with guilt and shame. Words that mock my choices; words that question my values; words that deny my existence. She’s looking out for me because she loves me. She wants me to succeed, to have good things, to do better than what she had in life. How can I be ungrateful when she has given me so much. How can I deny the sacrifices that my own mother made for me. I swallow my own feelings, they burn all the way down to my stomach. I can’t win in the game that she set up; in fact I was never a willing participant. “You will see when you get older” she said, “trust me I know what’s best for you.”

I never asked for her sacrifices but I am burdened with the guilt of them for the rest of my life.